Someone in China contracted COVID 19 whilst lunching on a medium rare bat, which escalated to the point where a chubby, beer marinated man in media is working from a garden chair in a semi furnished house (moved on day of lock down) with the, now, familiar tones of Mr. Fucking Tumble relentlessly drilling into my skull (anyone with with kids of a relative age to mine will understand this).
How do you maintain a working balance?
Tip number one. This is not a holiday. I am now working more than I ever have. In fact, I reckon on average I am working an additional 2-3 hours per day. This doesn't even factor all the fucking around I used to do in the office. So, there is no balance. Teams/zoom/whatever becomes a chain around your neck that ties you to a desk far more effectively than the omnipresent glare of a manager ever could, as it is your only way of doing anything now. There is no give, prepare to spend the next 9-12 hours staring at a flat, pixelated version of the people you used to sit in the pub eating crisps & drinking beer with.
Tip number two, don't drink as much. Hangovers in the home office are far far far far far far far worse. There is literally no hiding. Your child is shouting, your better half's sympathy stretches to the square root of fuck all and you have no PRET!!!! Yes their sandwiches taste like ash, yes it is over priced, but it is consistently ashy and consistently over priced. Like a warm, tasteless, expensive hug of continuity for your brain. All I have at home is a fridge full of food that expects ME to cook it! Bastards. Raw pork chop and a cup of tea for breakfast it is.
Tip number three, paying for diet coke sucks. I am fully addicted to the stuff and reveled in the fact that I had, more or less, an endless supply of the wonderfully chemically sweetened, bubbly brown stuff in the office (thank you JT!). I worked out that, on average, I am drinking 3 cans a day, which at the time of writing means I am spending £538.20 per year (THAT'S HALF WAY TO ANOTHER BROMPTON!). I even went to the lengths of buying a soda-stream, but that sucks as it doesn't have the same chemicals in the mixers (all of their syrups are things like "bergamot and organic moose extract"). I may have to purchase a soda mixer from one of the pubs that are inevitably going to go bust soon so sate my fiendish addiction.
Anyway, I can hear the now familiar ping of Teams letting me know lunch time is over.
How do you maintain a working balance?
Tip number one. This is not a holiday. I am now working more than I ever have. In fact, I reckon on average I am working an additional 2-3 hours per day. This doesn't even factor all the fucking around I used to do in the office. So, there is no balance. Teams/zoom/whatever becomes a chain around your neck that ties you to a desk far more effectively than the omnipresent glare of a manager ever could, as it is your only way of doing anything now. There is no give, prepare to spend the next 9-12 hours staring at a flat, pixelated version of the people you used to sit in the pub eating crisps & drinking beer with.
Tip number two, don't drink as much. Hangovers in the home office are far far far far far far far worse. There is literally no hiding. Your child is shouting, your better half's sympathy stretches to the square root of fuck all and you have no PRET!!!! Yes their sandwiches taste like ash, yes it is over priced, but it is consistently ashy and consistently over priced. Like a warm, tasteless, expensive hug of continuity for your brain. All I have at home is a fridge full of food that expects ME to cook it! Bastards. Raw pork chop and a cup of tea for breakfast it is.
Tip number three, paying for diet coke sucks. I am fully addicted to the stuff and reveled in the fact that I had, more or less, an endless supply of the wonderfully chemically sweetened, bubbly brown stuff in the office (thank you JT!). I worked out that, on average, I am drinking 3 cans a day, which at the time of writing means I am spending £538.20 per year (THAT'S HALF WAY TO ANOTHER BROMPTON!). I even went to the lengths of buying a soda-stream, but that sucks as it doesn't have the same chemicals in the mixers (all of their syrups are things like "bergamot and organic moose extract"). I may have to purchase a soda mixer from one of the pubs that are inevitably going to go bust soon so sate my fiendish addiction.
Anyway, I can hear the now familiar ping of Teams letting me know lunch time is over.
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